Washington: A How-To Guide!

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to visit our nation's capitol. I was very excited to go because I hadn't been there since I was fourteen. For those who don't know, that meant that I hadn't been there in five whole years.

Okay, so that might be a bit of a lie. But, give me a break. I was just in the capitol, and lying is kind of a popular pastime there.

Anyways, in order to get ready for my trip, I decided to consult some pictures of my previous visit to DC. I wanted to get a sense of what I should see, what I should do, and what all the great District of Columbia had to offer. After reviewing the evidence of the last trip, I came up with a few rules that should help make any trip to DC one that will bring you endless joy and countless fond memories. I'll give you the scoop on what to do and, perhaps most importantly, what to wear while you're doing it.

Here we go!

1. When visiting DC, you should make the most of your stay by taking in the wonderful museums.
Here, my dad and I (lower right hand) enjoy an interactive elephant exhibit at the Smithsonian. I know we're letting our party loyalty show in this one, but, even better, I'm letting my fashion sense shine. Note the faded, high waisted designer (Girbaud) jeans and the multicolored belt (hecho in Mexico). Both of these items show that I'm not new to this whole traveling thing. I'm cosmopolitan. I belong here.

However, Mr. Short Shorts to my left is definitely outdoing all of us. He understood that DC springtime can turn awfully hot, so he erred on the side of caution (if not the side of modesty) and went for a lovely pair of white Daisy Dukes. Well played, Short Shorts!

In our next picture, you can tell that I took a lesson the day before and planned for the heat. I had some shorts of my own. Check them out!


Here, my dad and I wait in line at the National Holocaust Memorial Museum. That's me in a pair of jean cut-offs, knock-off Birkenstocks, and a pair of (you guessed it!) white socks. If there was ever any doubt that the kid in this picture would one day pursue graduate studies in English, this outfit pretty well ends those doubts. Honestly, I probably could have skipped handing in a writing sample when applying to grad school and just sent this picture in along with my application. The selection committee would have taken one look at my feet and given me automatic admission. Heck, I might have even been a tenured faculty member by now!

Bringing this back around to the focus of the blog, you must remember, that there's more to visiting DC than just museums. And there's more to do than just be inappropriately dressed for the Holocaust Museum. DC has many monuments to visit as well. Which brings us to rule two.

2. Go visit a monument, and have your picture taken in front of it!

In the picture above, my mom (where has she been this whole time?) and I pose in front of the Washington Monument. Just in case you thought we were tourists, we're both wearing DC t-shirts that we bought from a guy on the street. That way, you know we're totally locals. I mean, how many tourists go around buying t-shirts from guys on the street? Not many, I'm sure. We look like we know where we're headed and have managed, with our jean shorts and DC t-shirts, to pull of the DC look. (As an added bonus, I think my mom's shorts have pleats in the front. Pleats mean "fancy." As another added bonus, my shirt is a DC Polo Club t-shirt. Because I'm a member of the club.)

Okay, all of this site seeing is nice, but DC is also a place where you can rub elbows with well-known (sometimes even well-respected) people. So, rule number three is...

3. Meet someone famous.
Always wanting to be an over achiever, I decided to meet two famous people--George and Barbara Bush. Actually, at this time, George wasn't President anymore, but I liked him heaps better than the guy who was, so I was more than happy to have my picture made with the former first couple. They were super sweet too. Sometimes they even still call me. I think they liked my style. That influenced my number four and final rule:

4. Just be yourself.

In the above photo, you can see that I'm totally comfortable being me. I mean, sure, there's the awkward stance, somewhat reminiscent of my earlier Disney World pictures, and that might make you think that I was as nervously uncomfortable as any fourteen year old could possibly be. But, I'd have to disagree. Listen, anyone who can wear a Far Side t-shirt (tucked in, no less), mom jeans, Birkenstocks, and white socks while parading around the capitol of our great nation is certainly someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word "uncomfortable."

Okay, if I'm being honest, I'm sure I wasn't all that comfortable with me. Face it, that outfit is a wreck, and what is going on with my bangs? Seriously, people. But, we can be sure that I was comfortable with something, and that something was my feet. Yep. You can be sure that, outfitted with a pair of socks and some Birkenstocks, my feet were the very definition of comfort.